I’m sorry to have to tell you that “Wookiee” is a racial slur, and that I’m going to have to personally cancel George Lucas for making it seem normal in polite company.

The word refers to the large, powerful, intelligent life form inhabiting the planet Kashyyk, xenophobic but compassionate primates who live long lives in dense forests by a strict moral code.

Personally I’ve decided to identify as an Apache Attack Wookiee, in part to reclaim that slur, in the same way that ‘queer’ is now a prideful term of art.

If you want to address me or my heritage politely, you may refer to either with Wroshyri, which in my own adopted native language translates as “Person/People of the Trees”.

I haven’t decided on my pronouns yet, so stay subscribed for that exciting development.

Thank you for understanding my evolving diversity and for holding back on your racist laughter until my back is turned.