I think I failed to fully evolve into a modernity-compatible organism.

Also, my sanctuarial abode is overcrowded in time and space and that is not helping at all. A year ago I felt more evolved than I do right now. Right now I feel keenly the lack of a metaphorical and literal Room of One’s Own.

The only solution is to build another one, and maybe a backup too.

That should be my total focus. But life happens.

Forty eight hours ago, three outlets in the kitchen, of this original sanctuary that isn’t, up and died.

The most amazing thing is how little that mattered. I did lose easy existing access to the Instant Pot, which I’d been using to brew up almost daily batches of rice, or beans. But even that could be relocated if it had to be.

It’s true that the gas stove has to be manually lit now, and doesn’t tell the time in bright green LED numbers.

But the saving grace was that the fourth outlet in the kitchen circuit kept on ticking, and that was the one that the fridge was and is hooked up to.

This also tells the wise observer that the circuit and its breaker itself are not shot, even though it would probably be a lot easier if that were the cause.

So–no catastrophe, but still, it seemed like something should be done, didn’t it?

I briefly considered calling a qualified electrician, and then I watched a bunch of videos, and then I went to the hardware store and bought eighty dollars worth of outlets, tools, and associated supplies.

I came home feeling a kind of grim productive mania, I guess, but I ran into a wall of something. At first it was described to me as fear, but not my own fear, and then it wasn’t, and what is was, was and remains amorphous. But no less stultifying for all its lack of shape.

Anyway, I didn’t do anything real to fix the problem I no longer could bring myself to care very deeply about. I just pulled the fridge out into the middle of the room, and vacuumed the dust off the back of it, and the lost kibble from underneath it, and then I caulked the sink counter next to it for kicks, and then I made some basic dinner.

All day today I studiously ignored the problem, because as you know, Tuesday is trash day and in the words of Patti Smith, the transformation of waste is the oldest preoccupation of mankind.

And, I would add: Denisovan or not, evolved or otherwise.

Tomorrow is another Wednesday.