Dreams.

As I hit the publish button on that I was already saying to myself, no, that view is not the dream, only a perspective onto it.

The Dream itself has four major pieces. The picture is a perspective onto the first quarter-piece; now it’s said proper. The first quarter-piece is both fundamental, and the piece that seems farthest away from concrete fulfillment. It’s the reason I have started playing the lottery even though that’s a tax on people who are no good at math.

Twenty-five years ago, the quarter-piece of dream came to me for the first time.

Ten years ago I imagined I would get there in a cakewalk, an automatic miracle.

Three years ago the dream seemed crashed and burned forever.

A month ago in the trash motel, it seemed extremely remote; maybe not quite impossible.

Today I feel like I could almost start to believe again. I have no practical reason to believe. Only more blind faith, by a little, than I’ve had in myself in a long time.

***

I’m eating an apple called an Envy. It’s pretty and it’s good. But it’s patented. So I’ll eat the three I bought but I won’t buy them again. Patented food is the evil twin of that which is genetically modified.

***

I got the degrees, but I never did abandon the working class for the professional and managerial one.

I never got adopted. In both cases I rejected the offer to join, willfully.

Sometimes they were prideful mistakes. Sometimes just a source of pride.