There are pocoburritos in the fridge. A solid sleep from four to noon. It’s the Wednesday before the Monday of returning to wage slavery.

Singledose 12:47 PM and I feel it I think before ten minutes are up.

Thoughts about the basic identity and nature swirl. Getting warmer. One post meridian.

I think about taking another but there’s no need for it yet–I have soft focus and this is what I came for. The rain of the day is here.

I perform some basic hygeine and in the middle of it I think: God I love this house. But just as quick I see that it’s not so. It’s not this

Tierra I love, though it has it’s charms–It’s the right place for javelina and a visitation of one perfect horned toad, but it’s not mine. It’s not this

building I love; not at all, it’s not mine and it’s surrounded by certain soft curses that mean it never will be. It does what it’s supposed to, but I know where I have to go.

No. What I love is the room by room structures I’ve built. I like the efficient way my bathroom runs, my kitchen, laundry room … these are what I made of them and it can happen anywhere and it will happen in the place where I have to go.

The woman in the shop at the springs at Glenwood was right, about microdoses being the future.

The place of the future is ringed by many towns and four cities. I consider them like I told myself to do.

All the things about fearhate are my self looking out over at what is in the way of it, the things outside me and the things inside me too.

Pocoburritos. They come down the hill from a shop I’ve been to in Bisbee and Bisbee is the precursor taste of the place I have to go. They are breakfast. I’m not ready for one yet but I am ready because I will be ready.

This is the opposite of fearhate and it is enough for now. Maybe I will append to this consideration in public before you all, but know that whether I do or not the writing is only begun here, and it will go on and on toward the coming dusk.

What I love is the room by room structures I’ve built.
these are what I made of them
and it will happen in the place where I have to go.

All the things about fearhate are my self looking out over at what is in the way of it

So the cube structures in the place I have to go are what matter.
There are things in the way but they don’t.

50 minutes later and I am ready for a second meltwafer and a second cup (they each taste like different kinds of dirt).

Getting to this state is the whole point and there’s never even ever been a question of it. There have been too many things in the way of the getting-to.

The whole point of my life has been: fix that.

Being in the flow state is easy.

Setting things up so that I am there is hard and I’ve let it be harder than it needs to be.