I don’t care any more, if they fire me.

It’s true but I said it badly. That wasn’t the thought, as it hit me. It still puts too much weight on what they think or do.

The liberating thought verbatim was actually:
I don’t care about keeping my job. The clenched holding onto it, the fussing about job security … feels optional now.

I’m living with the implications and trying to feel my way toward what they really mean.